


(SPECIAL) 5 things couples must avoid doing while in a fight

by ampossible013



Series: A Song for Two [3]
Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: M/M, Toruka interview, couple fights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 16:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14572518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ampossible013/pseuds/ampossible013
Summary: Couple fights are unavoidable, especially for couples who have been together for a long time.In this interview Toru and Taka will be sharing some 'tips' for couples, things that couples MUST NOT do while they are fighting. They will also be sharing some of their personal experiences as to how they go through fights but still stay together as a couple with a very close relationship.





	(SPECIAL) 5 things couples must avoid doing while in a fight

**Author's Note:**

> Please prepare a pair of sunglasses if you are watching their interview in the open studio.

**Tip 1: DO NOT run away from the house**

 

Taka:

We used to do that after a fight, mostly Toru will get out of the house and go for a walk to calm himself down after a fight, but after that we realized that is very unhealthy for our relationship and it's somewhat childish to do that.

 

So there was when we were younger and we just started to live together. We still get into fights occasionally but when there are bigger fights things will mostly get out of control. I will keep yelling at him and he gets tired of me so he'll just grab his car keys, wallet and phone and went straight out of the door. And mostly when he does that I will start to get very panic, I don't really know the actual reason, perhaps I was worried that he will leave and not come back. It's very funny, though he was not taking any of his stuffs like we mostly see in a movie scene, but I have to admit at some point I get panic and I will stop all the yelling and shouting. Toru will be like: "I'm getting out of here!" then he will slam the door without looking back, then I will start realizing what I have done which made him react that way  and start getting really sad.

 

It's hard to explain this feeling, you fight with your partner but in the end you still want to be with him, so when you see him walking out of the house you'll start to think: Is he leaving me for real? Is he going to come back to move all his stuffs when I'm asleep later? And all those thoughts make me really sad. I was on my wits end until Toru finally came back.

 

Toru:

I remembered once we were fighting of something, I don't even remember what we were fighting of, (Laughs) then I got mad at Taka and left the house. Taka saw me leaving the house and he started getting panic till he was tearing up. I saw his expression and said "Don't try to be a cry baby and hope I will forgive you!" I know it is very hurting but I was angry so I kind of couldn't control what I was saying. Then I went out for hours, and all I did was just sit at a coffee shop, ordered some coffee and had a few smokes to calm myself down. But Taka, at home, was hurting for what I said and did.

 

Taka:

I was indeed really sad after he said that to me, I literally sat in front of our house door and cried. After a while I got up and tried to call him to apologize but then he did not take his phone with him before he went out.

 

Toru:

I probably was rushing so I forgot my phone at home.

 

Taka:

It then got a bit cold at the middle of the night so I went to bed and curled up under the blanket. I was crying for hours and I almost used up all my energy crying but I told myself I must not go to bed cause I wanted to wait for Toru to come back so I can apologize, and the fact that I was scared that he might leave me when I was sleeping. So I hugged Toru's blanket to calm myself down.

 

Toru:

When I got back it was already almost 4 am in the morning. I thought Taka was already asleep cause the lights were off. I went to the bedroom and saw Taka sitting on the bed, hugging my blanket like a koala bear, literally.

 

And it was so cute.

 

Taka:

(Blushes)

 

Toru:

Then he looked up at me and I saw his eyes red and swollen from all the crying, he still got some tears on his face. I couldn't stand seeing him like that anymore so I hugged him.

 

Taka:

It sounded so dramatic, but it happened.

 

We hugged like that for a while, I started crying again when I saw him. I was such a cry baby. Until Toru was tired of standing I let him lie on the bed while we share the blanket together, and we continued hugging like this.

 

Toru:

We hugged for a long time without saying anything to each other.

 

Taka:

Yeah, we just enjoyed our moment together until we had enough, we only started talking to each other.

 

Toru:

We didn't say much as well, just some simple words like "I'm sorry". Apologies are almost unnecessary cause you know your partner will definitely forgive you and you will forgive him back, but we still have to say it to let each other know we genuinely feel that way.

 

Taka:

Yeah, and then we were back together again~~

 

**Tip 2: Never ever go to bed separately after a fight**

 

Taka:

When we were younger we tend to go to bed separately after a fight, mostly I will go to sleep first. Then Toru will go to sleep a little later.

 

If he chooses to sleep on the couch for the night then it means he is still mad at me, if he chooses to sleep with me on the same bed even after I have fallen asleep it means he is no longer mad at me. But we realized that he mostly sleeps on the couch after we had a fight which really is something not good.

 

Toru:

Not always, mostly we will move on after a fight and everything will be alright the next morning. Just that going to bed together even after a fight will quicken the making up process.

 

Taka:

We did tried it a few times and it helps.

 

Toru:

I didn't know Taka cries in his sleep after a fight until the first time we went to sleep together after a fight.

 

Taka:

I did…

 

Toru:

So seeing your partner cry you'll definitely have to put aside all the anger and hatred you have to comfort him.

 

Taka:

He really is soft towards me, I know this doesn't really show it in his expression cause he is shy, he doesn't really want to hold hands with me in public even after our relationship went public until very recently only he holds my hand all the time when we are outside. But he hates to see me cry so whenever I start crying he will try my best to comfort me by giving cuddles - that's how he cares about me. (Blushes)

 

Toru:

Yeah, he was facing his back towards me and curled himself up at the end of the bed. The funny thing is before he sleeps he said "Don't touch me!" So I obliged and kept a distance away from him. Then he started to hide himself under the blanket and started crying.

 

Taka:

I was trying to cry quietly so Toru won't hear me but I guess he heard me sniffing.

 

Toru:

Especially when the weather is warm, we don't turn on the heater at night so the room is dead quiet and you can hear even very little sounds.

 

Taka:

He knew I was sad so he moved forward to give me a back hug.

 

Toru:

I was on the verge of ignoring him, cause I have to admit I was still a bit angry at that time, but I know even though we fight we still love each other so I decided to put aside my dignity and chose to make him feel better instead of wanting to win this argument.

 

Taka:

He is the kindest person in the universe. I'm too lucky to have him~

 

Toru:

In short we are trying to tell you guys that everything will be okay as long as you go to bed with your partner even after an argument.

 

Taka:

You can sleep far away from each other but still on the same bed.

 

Toru:

We used to do this nowadays, then the next morning we woke up close to each other.

 

Taka:

We mean, very close to each other. He once fell asleep with his back facing me but when we woke up the next day he was lying on my chest and hugging me like a koala bear.

 

Toru:

(Blushes) I'm not a koala bear, you are the one.

 

**Tip 3: Always move on the next morning after a fight**

Taka:

Don't carry forward your anger to the next morning. Tomorrow will always be a new day.

 

Toru:

But I think it will be better for us to make up if we go to bed together that night.

 

Taka:

Sometimes we don't even make up cause as Toru said just now, we will always forgive each other no matter how it is. We sometimes do carry our argument to the next morning. I will appear still angry from last night's fight, Toru will avoid talking to me. And if this goes on and on it will be unhealthy to our relationship.

 

Toru:

I think we once had a cold war towards each other, like 5 days?

 

Taka:

Yeah, I think so. But in the end we really couldn't stand not talking to each other so all in a sudden we started talking to each other again. It was me who made the first move to talk to him then we realized we were not angry at each other anymore.

 

Toru:

That night was great, remember? You made steak for both of us for dinner.

 

Sometimes Taka will get up earlier the next morning, he still remembers that we are fighting and he thinks that I'm still mad at him, he will make breakfast for me. I will wake up to my favourite foods in the dining table waiting for me and I was so touched seeing it.

 

Whenever Taka is not mad anymore he will try his best to make up with me, but my temper is not that bad and I easily forget stuffs. So I guess we rarely have cold wars though we fight each other quite frequently especially when we were younger.

 

Taka:

Yeah, you are right, we used to fight A LOT back then, not like we are not fighting at all at this stage, but our fights doesn't really last long. We can shout each other as loud as we can but the next hours later or the next morning everything will be alright.

 

**Tip 4: Never talk about divorce / breaking up**

Toru:

Taka, especially, used to threaten me with this whenever we fight. I have to admit I was indeed worried when he said that cause sometimes you don't know if he means it or not especially when he is angry.

 

Taka:

Yes, I did. But most of the time I don't mean it. In fact if he says "Yes, let's break up then," I will be very afraid.

 

Toru:

Yeah, so we slowly learned that we should not say that whenever we are fighting. I know it's hard to control your words when you are angry but that's the thing you should really avoid saying if you love your partner.

 

Taka:

Only say that when you genuinely want to break up with your partner because asking for a breakup is something very serious in a relationship. It's like putting an end to it. We actually broke up once but that was a very big fight we had, I did want to break up with him at that time but after a while not talking to each other and not seeing each other as often as we did I realized I love him so much and he's very important to me. In the end we were both not happy so we got back together.

 

Toru:

Talking about breaking up for even a small fight might indicate that your relationship is a very weak one, and it hurts your partner too when you say it.

 

Taka:

I'm sure Toru gets hurt many times…

 

Toru:

I did. (Laughs) But probably Taka was just trying to threaten me or he was just angry. He's also the kind of person who can talk shit whenever he is angry but most of the time he doesn't mean it and he will regret it right away. Because he did said that to me quite often back then when we used to fight a lot, I got hurt so I just went to another room and refuse to talk to him for hours. He then knocked on the room door and told me he's sorry and he didn't mean to hurt me.

 

Taka:

It's hard to deal with a hot-tempered partner like me.

 

Toru:

Yeah, so you are only for me~ (Winks at Taka)

 

Taka:

(Blushes)

 

Toru:

In the end it's that if you love your partner you should not talk about breaking up that easily even during a fight, we stopped talking about that a long time ago cause Taka realized that it's hurting. We did spoke to each other about that, I told him about my feelings and he told me his feelings too. That was how we managed to get the understanding between each other.

 

Taka:

I love my partner so I will never ever break up with him!

 

Toru:

(Laughs)

 

**Tip 5: Never fight in public**

Toru:

Well we all know it's not good to fight in public but we did that once, it was very dramatic even.

 

Taka:

We actually started fighting just because I want to hold his hand in public.

 

Toru:

Yeah, we were on a date and it was quite crowded that time. Then Taka suddenly wanted to hold my hand in front of so many people. Of course I declined because we almost have no privacy about our lives in Japan, the media is always following us and it can be such a headache sometimes when we just wanna have a nice, relaxing date together with just the two of us. This is also one of the reason we chose to keep our relationship private for so many years. But Taka seemed to not really understand how I felt and that was when the fight broke.

 

Taka:

He shrugged off my hand quite hard that time so it's easy to get misunderstood, then he said "Not here" and I got petty. We started with a heated argument then we started to raise our voice against each other. And suddenly Toru just walked away without waiting for me!

 

Toru:

I was being petty and childish that time I admit. I did not even think about the possibility that Taka might get lost and couldn't find me because it was so crowded. Then I faintly heard Taka calling my name.

 

Taka:

He just walked away like that and I froze for a few seconds on the spot. Then I realized he had gone far and I started to panic so I started looking for him. I called his name again and again, looked everywhere but couldn't see him at all. I was worried and I almost cried that time.

 

Toru:

Then I finally saw Taka not far from me, he was struggling to push through the crowd, turning his head around to look for me. I quickly approached him and shouted his name.

 

Taka:

I was so relieved when I saw him cause I was so afraid that he will just walk away and leave me behind, at the same time I was so emotional and I don't know why.

 

Toru:

He hugged me and started crying. In public.

 

Taka:

(Blushes) Damn… I didn't know why we managed to do something so childish and dramatic in public and the fact we are already in our 30s! But I was glad that day no one gave a damn of what we were doing. Probably Japanese people are too busy with their lives that they didn't have the time to care about others'.

 

Toru:

After hugging for a while we decided to continue with our date, and I offered to hold his hand so he won't get lost. He grabbed my hand so eagerly and I was happy.

 

Taka:

From that day onwards we started holding hands like that every time we go out. Society can be always judgemental about our relationship cause we are both men but I think we really should not care so much now. We love each other and that's it, we hold hands not to show the world we are dating but to show each other that we love and care for each other.

 

Toru:

That's weird hearing this from you, but I agree.

 

Taka:

Hey!

 

Toru:

But yeah, it's very bad to fight in public cause it causes unwanted attention and people may start thinking negatively about our relationship. Later that day me and Taka talked about this, and we both admit it's so wrong to do that.

 

Taka:

After that day we never fought in public anymore, in fact nowadays we don't really fight a lot probably because our relationship is so strong to the point that it could not be strengthen anymore.

 

Toru:

You're talking bullshit again.

 

Taka:

Hey! That's fact! We fought so much when we were young but in the end we are still together. Fight strengthens our relationship okay?

 

Toru:

Now you say that, it makes sense. (Smirks)

 

**Conclusion**

Taka:

So…  we have been together for more than 10 years… It's not that easy.

 

Toru:

We indeed went through a lot especially during our younger days when we were immature and very impulsive, we fought quite a lot. But in the end we got through it, we made up and we still love each other.

 

Taka:

I think we fought a lot in our first 4 years of our relationship, after that everything seemed fine.

 

Toru:

Yeah, cause our relationship got stable and stronger. We learned to compromise too. Taka's temper seemed to get better as he gets older.

 

Taka:

It's not only about the love and sweetness we have, but also how we learned and grew so much as a couple. I'm glad we made it this far and I definitely want to be with him again till the day I die.

 

Toru:

(Blushes) Same~ We might still fight like we used to but I still want to be his partner and to grow old with him; that's how much we love each other.

**Author's Note:**

> EDITOR'S NOTE: I personally don't like it when couples show affection to each other (e,g holding hands, kissing) in public or show off their relationship in social media. While Taka and Toru are the complete opposite - they almost never show any affection towards each other in public and are very modest about their relationship, but not many of us knows that they have been together for 12 years and are still going strong. The true definition of a strong relationship is not about showing your relationship off to the public, it's about showing your partner that you opt to be together with him or her till eternity.
> 
> Wish all the couples here the best of luck!


End file.
